KSAT Newsletter Volume IV

**Lessifer** Tue May 29, 2012 2:59 pm

Written By.....Rage Gray with Articles from CottoFury, Slver, Rkolar, Brandy, ArtemisC, Enox
News At A Glance Welcome to the fourth edition of the KSAT newsletter. This week has been a frantic and insane drive for all of us hear with the memorial day bringing us a new holiday mission “hurried release” and Grendal letting let loose a horde at the safehouse at the same time. Before Zeke could scream at his phone, they were dead and all was well in the KSAT house once again. As always everyone, enjoy this weeks issue, (we have some new vegetarian recipes), Be good to one another as as always PLEASE STAY CALM.	ZombieBashers Tip of the Week The couple that slays together stays together. “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.” KSAT Video Vault *We Bought a Zoo* *This Means War* *MIB3* *The Raven*
Black Widow Books Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!- Otto Penzler The Last Zombie-Brian Keene The Enemy, The Dead, The Fear all by Charlie Higson The Zombies Chasers by John Kloepfer The Proper Care and Feeding of Zombies by Mac Montandon	Zombie Humor What do you call a one inch zombie? Tomb Thumb What kind of candy does a zombie refuse to eat? Lifesavers Why did the zombie go crazy? Because he lost his mind. What do zombie’s call a man in a wheelchair? Meals on wheels
Zombie Survival Guide Once again we bring to you good idea/bad idea during a zombie horde. Tip 1: Good Idea-checking out your gardens barbed wire fence electric fence to make sure there isn't any residual damage. Bad idea-being on the outside of that fence when a horde strikes. Tip 2: Good idea-being overly prepared with ammo and weapons Bad Idea-Leaving those weapons in your car.... Tip 3: Good Idea-having a cup of coffee with safehouse members while watching the cameras for hordes... Bad Idea-being caught on the toilet when those hordes attack Bonus Never leave the toilet seat up when a black widow is around.	Graystone Quotes Here's a few favorite quotes I’ve come across recently gave me quite a laugh, hope they give you one too... I will not negotiate with the undead! Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies one concern of a zombie outbreak would be that the initial neoconservative response would be to invade Iraq again out of force of habit (off topic but hilarious) Even if the voices in my head aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas
Sports On Monday Oklahoma Thunder won over the Lakers 106-90 Oklahoma won conference semifinals 4-1 Boston Celtics won over Philadelphia 76ers 101-85 On Wednesday Philis win over Celtics 82-75 series is tied 3-3	Sports On Thursday Miami win the conference semifinals over Indiana 4-2 Game ended 105-93 So far my predictions remain intact. Predictions for Saturday Boston wins over Philadelphia Btw: Spurs are in the semifinals going for the finals
Horror Scopes Capricorn:Dec 22-Jan 19) You realize today that your bad habits are outweighing the good, maybe its time to change weapons when zombie fighting, instead of always using the rifle, go for the chainsaw Aquarius: (Jan 20-Feb 18) You just ran across a bunch of mutant zombie babies, now you have a hard choice to make.... Pisces: (Feb 19-March 20) reasses all your thoughts and focuses, today faces a new challenge and a new task to do, but while your at it....take time for a nice relaxing bath (with a padlocked steel bathroom door of course) Aries: (march 21-april 19) Your taking too much time thinking, this week will show lots of friends with some not so helpful ideas. Taurus: (april 20-may 20) A new friend will show you how to make more money and the money you have last longer without so many repairs to your weapons. Be open-minded and listen. Gemini: (May 21-June 21) Take a minute to decide if your really living up to your own expectations as a zombie-slayer, if not, ask for help	Horror Scopes Cancer: (June 22-July 22) Its time to take matters in your own hands, don't let someone else handle your grandma, who is now a flesh eating mutant zombie, do it yourself, you'll feel better for it. Leo: (July 23-Aug 22) You've wasted your time long enough, let that special someone know you love them.....right before he\she turns into a zombie Virgo: (Aug 23-September 22) A change is coming in your life, be prepared for all new things, also be open to repairing the barbed wire around the safehouse Libra:(Sept.23-Oct. 23) You'll travel some new roads this week, make sure to bring a good map....and a lot of ammo or sharpened weapons Scorpio: (Oct 23-Nov 21) You will be the subject of friendly sharing with friends, its time to decide what you would like to share and what you'd rather keep to yourself Saggitarius: (Nov 22-Dec 21) This week brings the news of your relationship coming into a new arena, should you take that step its time to decide what you want...a venue with a view? Or just one without zombies.
As The Zombie Lay Dying Last week in “ATZLD” Lessifer was just about to tell Zeke something when..... “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!” they all heard yelled from the top of the stairs. With a bang and a crash, all of a sudden a woman banged into the wolves as she came downstairs. “What's going on??? Why are the lights out?” “Hi Snow” Zeke said without missing a beat, “We've had a little issues with some wolves outside, I think they may have knocked down a line. No worries, auxiliary power will be up in a minute.”With a whirr and a hiss, all of a sudden the lights were back on. Turning to lessifer, who (during this time had been playing with the control panel) Zeke asked, exasperation in his voice....”So what was it that you were trying to tell me before Snow came down here screaming?” “I wasn't screaming, I was frightened, besides, Mom said that if somethings wrong to ask you or Les and not to wake her up.” “Mom?” Slver asked, a little confused , looking at Snow. “All the girls call my wife Mom” Zeke said. “Ok do what is it that's so important Les?” “well your not going to believe this boss, but right before the power went out....” With a rip and a crackle the TV on the control panel lit up, it was a newscast from one of the other stations that had remained on air. “New bulletin just in, Research scientist in downtown have just gave word out that a pack of wolves with the experimental new zombie cure have escaped, they are considered highly dangerous and not to be killed, avoid at all cost. Head Researcher Arturo Fail had this to say when questioned about the wolves : “These wolves are local to this area and were given a special serum to test out whether they could avoid getting the virus. Unfortunately these wolves genetics are highly irregular and the serum has somehow not only given them the virus but increased their intelligence. We will pay anyone who can capture them without killing them” when asked by this reporter what would happen if someone were go get bit by these wolves, Dr. Fail's answer was “um....well....I.....” a true victory to science that once again our scientist have failed us, and that's it for me. Be safe and good luck till next newscast.” With a snap of his wrist Cotto flipped off the monitor. “ I knew something was going on when everyone started acting strange, and when a wolf would disappear and come back a couple days later like nothing happened....” “Ok, before you start going all hardcore, those wolves are still at our gates, and we need to figure out what to do.” Les said. Turning to Zeke, everyone saw that Zeke had stood motionless by the window, not saying a word, just staring out into the night. “That bastard did it again, after everything that's happened, he couldn't leave well enough alone....” “Um Zeke...”Snow said, a little shy... “I’m fine but that s.o.b. Should have not done this” “Who Zeke?'” everyone asked, confused because they had never heard their leader so inflamed by someone before. “Well, I could tell you what happened and why I hate that mofo.....but that would require a story, they easiest thing to say is....... A) Arturo is really Zeke’s ex brother in law who started the zombie apocalypse B) He's really a double agent for the KGB C) He is Zeke’s worst enemy but used to be his best friend D) Zeke hates him on general principle.....
Undead Appetites As requested, this week I’m starting to add both the vegetarian and non-vegetarian recipes. Breakfast: (veg and non-veg) Ricotta cheese pancakes Ingredients 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour2 teaspoons SPLENDA® Granular 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 cup egg substitute1/2 cup nonfat ricotta cheese 2 ounces fresh blueberries In a bowl, combine flour, Splenda, and baking powder. Stir in egg substitute and ricotta cheese until well blended. Gently fold in blueberries. Pour 1/4 cup batter onto hot griddle for each pancake. Cook until bubbles form on top, then turn to brown other side. Serve immediately with choice of condiments. Lunch: Busy Day Lunch Salad (for Vegetarian) Ingredients 1 (15 ounce) can garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed 1 tomato, cut into small dice1/4 red onion, minced1 canned heart of palm, minced 1/3 cup grated reduced-fat mozzarella cheese 4 sprigs fresh thyme leaves 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice, salt and pepper to taste Directions 1.Toss the garbanzo beans, tomato, onion, heart of palm, mozzarella cheese, thyme, olive oil, and lemon juice together in a bowl until evenly mixed. Season with salt and pepper and re-toss. (for Non) instead of beans add chicken or shrimp Dinner: Veggie Burgers with Mushrooms Ingredients 1 15-ounce can kidney beans, drained and rinsed 1 small red onion, shredded and squeezed dry (about 1/2 cup) 1/3 cup chopped walnuts 1 small carrot, finely diced 1 cup plain or whole-wheat breadcrumbs 2 scallions, white and green parts, finely chopped 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley 2 teaspoons Worcestershire or soy sauce Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 3 cups assorted mushrooms, sliced 4 English muffins, split and toasted Mayonnaise and/or mustard, for garnish Baby spinach or arugula, for garnish Smash the beans in a bowl with a potato masher or fork until slightly chunky. Add the onion, walnuts, carrot, 1/2 cup breadcrumbs, scallions, parsley and 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce. Season with salt and pepper and mix with your hands until combined. Spread the remaining 1/2 cup breadcrumbs on a plate. Form the bean mixture into 4 patties; lightly coat with the breadcrumbs, shaking off any excess. Heat 2 tablespoons olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the patties and cook until golden and slightly crisp, 2 to 3 minutes per side. Transfer the burgers to a plate. Heat the remaining 1 tablespoon oil in the same skillet over medium heat. Add the mushrooms and the remaining 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce; season with salt and pepper and cook until the mushrooms are slightly wilted, 3 to 4 minutes. Serve the burgers on the English muffins with mayonnaise and/or mustard, baby greens and mushrooms (non-veg) Replace beans, walnuts and carrots with ground beef and continue recipe as above.
Kudos And Welcomes This week was a very big week for our safehouse as week welcome a lot of new members Raptor – Lv 33 Dmel- Lv 37 ArtemisC-Lv 27 Roselynn- Lv 18 Bryndon- Lv 12 Random- Lv 38 Munker- Lv 28 Glenn- Lv 31 Diablo- Lv 35 Furyo- Lv 24 Welcome all.	Editors Notes As always I want to thank everyone for their help and support in this, you guys make the safehouse a fun place to be and this paper something fun for me to write. As long as everyone is enjoying it I’ll keep doing it. As per usual email me if you have any comments, questions or ideas for the paper or future issues, I look forward to everyone’s ideas. Be safe, Be good and as always PLEASE STAY CALM