KSAT Newsletter Volume II

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KSAT Newsletter Volume II

Post  Lessifer on Sat May 12, 2012 2:16 am

Written By Rage Gray…..with articles from : CottoFury, Andr0nicus, Lessifer,

News at a Glance

Hi, and welcome to another
addition of KSAT news. This has been a rather wild week, we had two hordes this
week, one of which was small (575) and then the real one (2309) that took us all
by surprise. Have to say its pretty inconvenient for them to pop up before a
girl gets her morning coffee. Leading the charge in the “real” horde was
Andr0nicus and CottoFury, good job guys and great job to everyone who
participated. Interestingly enough also in the news today, our safe house loves
zombies do much that we almost (he got it so its ok!!) messed up a mission for
one of our guys. Lukeys had a mission to kill 100 zeds at an office.
Interestingly enough it was at home base. Sorry from all of us Luke!! And for
those who want to have a smile! The votes are in! Ezekiel Stone has been voted
as the Official Leader of KSAT safe house with Lessifer as his second in
command. Although if you ask Zeke he’ll still deny it even though we had a
unanimous vote. So heres to you our faithful leader, suck it up and drive on

Zombie Bashers Tip of the Day

Here’s one that our Fearless Leader made the mistake of: Never kick a high
level zombie in the head, they’ll only activate your dental plan.

Also good advice:

'IF you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactic's SUCK..."

And a little humor: Anyone who says the words “no offense but…” obviously
hasn’t really learned what that word means.

Black Widow Books

Scott Smith: The Ruins

(side-note) there is a movie also but the books is recommended to be the best

Chuck Pahlaniuk: Damned

13 year old girl's journey through Hell.

(a few for the Zombie Bashers)

John Joseph Adams:

The Living Dead

Stephen King: The Cell

Seth Grahame-Smith: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

For the girls:

Paranormal romance:

Kerrilyn Sparks: Wanted Undead or Alive

Casey Daniels: Wild, Wild Death

And if you are a Real romance lover check out

Laurell K. Hamilton and

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Undead Appeties

And on the Menu today:


Meal on a Muffin
This is really fairly easy, It's and english muffin, toasted, with
grilled deli (boiled) ham or any other grilled ham slices, a pineapple ring,
cheese sauce and a optional cherry. Cheese sauce is 1 stick of butter (1/4
pound) 8+ oz block of cheese, sharper cheddar is better, flour and milk. Melt
the butter in a fry pan, slowly mix in flour till a paste, like toothpaste
thickness or thicker paste is reached. cover with milk, mix till the
butter/flour is blended then shred in the cheese on a low/med heat till the
cheese melts in. adding more milk IF to thick or more cheese if to thin. Put ham
on the muffin, then ring of pineapple, spoon/pour cheese sauce over top, 2 is a
usual serving. optional cherry goes into the middle of the pineapple at end.

Zombie Survival Guide

(taken from


Don’t set zombies on fire. Burning zombies smell terrible

Don’t get sentimental. Zombies won’t

Don’t forget to shut the door behind you. Zombies often come over without
calling first.

Undead Appeties


Homemade Mac n Cheese

cheese sauce above mixed into 2 pounds of cooked elbow pasta and baked till
the top is brown.



the above cheese sauce over broken saltine

KSAT Video Vault

Here are a few of my favs that came out this week:

***Underworld Awakening***

***Good Old Fashioned Orgy**

*********The Vow*******

Just for kids

*****The Lorax******

Undead Appeties


Herbed Rice

Great to serve with beef or pork. In a rice cooker for every one cup of rice
add 1 teaspoon dried oregano, 1 teaspoon dried basil, and 1 tablespoon butter or
margarine. Cook normally.

Undead Appeties


Beer Can Chicken

3 teaspoon kosher salt 1 teaspoon paprika

1 teaspoon finely chopped rosemary

1 teaspoon dried thyme ½ teaspoon lemon zest

½ teaspoon ground black pepper

1 whole chicken, about 4 pounds

2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil

1 can (12 ounces) beer, at room temperature

2 sprigs fresh rosemary

1 clove garlic, crushed Juice of 1 lemon

1 teaspoon dried thyme

½ teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

1. In a small bowl mix the rub ingredients.

2. Remove and discard the neck and giblets and any excess fat from the
chicken. Lightly rub the chicken all over with the oil. Season the chicken
inside and out with the rub. Tuck the tips of the wings behind the chicken’s

3. Prepare the grill for indirect cooking over medium heat (350° to

4. Open the beer can and pour out about half the beer. Put the rosemary,
garlic, lemon juice, thyme, and red pepper flakes into the beer can (so they
will flavor the steam). Using a can opener, make 2 more holes in the top of the
can. Place the beer can on a solid surface. Shove it up chicken's ass.

It will take about 1an a half hour but make shure put it on indirect medium

As The Zombie Lay Dying

It was a dark night, blacker than
Zeke had ever seen. Looking out the window of the safe house he couldn’t help
but wonder, “what’s next?”. The most recent horde left everyone wondering if
things were ever going to get back to normal. With the pull-out of the
government into “safe zones” and the military not answering their questions,
things seemed to never stabilize.

“I jusst can’t wrap my mind around this..” Zeke thought.

“Yo, Zeke!!” Lessifer hollered from the back of house.

“I think your going to want to see this!!”

As Zeke rushed down to the corridor he couldn’t help but think, “what now?”.
In the last few months the house had dealt with rabbits, Santa Claus (stunning
realizing a) he was real, B) he’s a zombie), leprechauns (all mythical creatures
coming out of the woodwork, too bad the zombies got to them first), cupids. It
seems like a psych experiment gone wrong, what could possibly be worse? “oh
wait”, Zeke thought to himself. “It could be Rage’s sister coming for a visit.
That would be worse.”

“Ok Les, What appears to be the problem?”

“Well, why don’t you look outside and see for yourself”

Now boys and ghouls, can you tell me what it is was out the window?

A) Zombie kittens, large, ferocious, drooling ugly cats.

B) mutant Werewolves

C) The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

D) The Military returning to help out

E) Micheal Myers (would he be a Zombie?, who knows!)

F) Mutant babies on steroids

G) Your Mother

H) Hulkers

I) Mutant Zombie Flies

J) Surprise Guest

Send in your vote by next Thursday to see what happens next…Coming up we will
meet more of the family, and find out what happens when you let married pugs
into the house….

Zombie Humor

(taken taken from ZombieJokes.com)

Q: What did everyone say about the big zombie party?

A: It was DEAD & full of STIFFS!

Q: What did the zombie hope for before his blind date?

A: Someone with a PULSE & plenty of BRAAAINS!

Q: What is black, white & red all over?

A: A nun being EATEN by zombies!

Graystone Quotes

(taken from Brainyquote.com)

I am a conservative, but I am not a zombie.

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said
'God beat me to it.'

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for

Be obscure clearly

Kudos And Welcome

Hey gang how about a welcome to our newest members:

Xyril-Level 30

Rasmusan-Level 25

Liquado-Level 38

Prometheus-Level 34

EschelonDeath-Level 51

Slverwolf-Level 26


NBA Stats for the Week

Bulls(50-16) vs. Sixers (35-31)

Hawks(40-26) vs Celtics (39-27)

Pacers (42-24) vs Magic (37-29)

Heat (46-20) vs Knicks (36-30)

Spurs (50-16) vs Jazz (36-30)

Grizzlies (41-25) vs Clippers (40-26)

Lakers (41-25) vs Nuggets (38-28)

Thunder (47-19) vs Mavericks (36-30)

Horror scopes

Aries: (march 21-april 19)

Animals can be your friend this week as you learn what it's like to live in
an alley.

Taurus: (april 20-may 20)

The computer you are trying to access has forbidden you entry as it deems
your horoscope too scary. A picture frame will feature highly in your day

Gemini: (May 21-June 21)

Nutrition will play a major part of your life for the next week. Your choice
of reading material is starting to swerve dangerously into the "blue" section.

Cancer: (June 22-July 22)

Malicious gossip may reach your ears this week.

Leo: (July 23-Aug 22)

Be wary of emails claiming to be from PayPal or eBay - they are almost
certainly your "most like a junky" friends trying to get a rise out of you. In
fact, they're probably watching you from a webcam placed

Virgo: (Aug 23-September 22)

The stars predict rocky times for you and a loved one. Avoid making love in
cramped places.

Horror scopes

Libra:(Sept.23-Oct. 23)

Walking down the street with a spring in your step is a great way to let the
world know how insufferable you really are.

Scorpio: (Oct 23-Nov 21)

As the fella once said, ain't that a kick in the head. Not that you'll be
kicked in the head, it's a metaphor.

Saggitarius: (Nov 22-Dec 21)

Chunks of meat will plague you today...or give you the plague. The mystics
are being terribly vague.

Capricorn: (Dec 22-Jan 19)

The words you use to describe yourself may have to be revised today, after
suffering what can only be described as "hell".

Aquarius: (Jan 20-Feb 18)

This week will see "a new hope" arrive in the form of a whiny sand-farmer

Pisces: (Feb 19-March 20)

"Hunky-dory" - a beautiful phrase that will sum up the day, week and month
for you.

Editors Note

I welcome all additions and look forward to
seeing everyones ideas. Coming forward in the following issues will be Best
Weapons for Zombie Survival and Favorite Zombie


Posts : 40
Join date : 2012-03-25

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